Kaylie McTiernan
Japanese Poetry
Haiku
Rain drops fall silent
Landing soft on window glass
Stinging the hard earth
Wind roars through the sky
Leaves aflame scream in fury
Scorching the dry earth
Delicately falling
Surrounded by gentle flakes
Alone with the white
Renga
A quiet house waits
Calm silence lingers throughout
Blooming blossom scent
Garden flowers watch in awe
Dancing red birds sleep outside
The moon’s unknown love
Brilliantly lighting the sky
Quiet and alone
Twirling, laughing, dancing end
Broken farewells then silence.
Tanka
Beaming energy
Expectations of the night
Torn by sudden shock
Now frozen by lightning bolts
Avoided eyeball panic.
Directions
Haiku: 5-7-5
Renga: 5-7-5 7-7 5-7-5 7-7
A Renga is a poem that can be done at a dinner party including many people. There is a progression to the Renga, the beginning must be polite and cautious, the middle must be loose, and the end must be a rapid finish. Also, there must be two lines mentioning flowers and three lines mentioning the moon.
Tanka: 5-7-5 7-7
Create an image relating to emotions.
8 comments:
In your first haiku, I thought it was interesting that you made rain fall "gently" on the window pane but "sting" the earth. I don't know if the contrast is purposeful or not but I just thought it was something to think about. I liked how you used the word "earth" in the last line of the first two haikus. I also love the phrase "avoided eyeball panic".
kaylie i think your poetry is beautiful. i am wishing they had titles though. i liked your renga the best, and i thought your sound repetition was very strong, and your imagery was gripping as well. i also liked your tanka. that last line "avoiding eyeball panic" is very suggestive and literal and frightening. you should probably write a poem about evil samurai warriors though...
- I like the bare observations with no explanation. They leave the reader to figure out the meaning on their own. This is something I am striving for in my own project and I think you’ve done it well.
- I like the repetition in the Haiku: Stinging the hard earth/Scorching the dry earth; Rain drops fall silent/Delicately falling.
- Silence seems to be a major factor in the effect of the first two poems. I think you could elaborate on it a bit throughout the rest of your project. It seems important so I would like to be able to construct some kind of broader meaning out of “silence.”
your poems are very musical and pleasant to read. All the descriptions are short, but just enough to actually visuolize it all in your head.
I think that you did a great job with all of these poems. I especially liked the Renga that you wrote. The lines “The moon’s unknown love brilliantly lighting they sky” is very good. Also, the line “leaves aflame scream in fury/ scorching the dry earth” in your haiku is very good. I really like that you put that line right about the haiku about snowflakes, contrasting the two.
Your poetry is beautiful. I really enjoyed reading it, it was pleasant.
I also like the repitition that you used.
I can't wait to read more.
Kaylie- Great job!
I don't really understand how to do these forms of poetry, but you have written them well and they flow beautifully. Keep up the good work.
(I appreciate that you added a little description as to the differences between the types of poems, not that it helped me much...)
Kathryn
I am glad to see someone writing haiku and taking it seriously. These are very good poems. They flow well. I would like to read more. A good haiku is underappreciated, i am glad to see you do well in haiku. keep it up.
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